October 24, 2007

Pocket of Hate: Raisins

This is going to be a really short and sweet Pocket of Hate. I hate raisins and I always have. I have absolutely no idea why anyone would want to knowingly eat a withered, nappy grape. I'm not a big fan of dried fruit in general, and don't even get me started on jellies, preserves and "fruit leathers," etc. But, the raisin is just the worst of the worst. It's small, ugly and puckered, and they taste like, well, just plain gross. I can't even say that I'm on board with the dancing, sunglasses-wearing California Raisins.

I am just unbelievably angered by raisins. Oh, and, please, please, please keep them out of cookies and other baked goods. And, while you're at it, don't flavor any cookies or cakes with any sort of lemon zest either. Blech.

Thanks for listening.

3 comments:

Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

I actually just had dried apricots and they were delicious. And I like jellies and preserves. But, no, not a big fan of fruit leathers. I have no feelings about the presence of lemon zest in baked goods or elsewhere, so I won't comment.

Mallard said...

I'm all for spewing hate about inanimate objects. BUT. Wow, you came out swingin'. I'm not really sure why you would pick on such a defenseless after school snack as the raisin. I'm pretty sure they never gave you an extra pound you had to sweat off.

Also: raisins are pretty much grandparents to the grape. You just punched grandpa in the face! And who doesn't love grandma, all pillowy and wrapped in old money. Shame on you. Some people dig shriveled deep down. Others, like you, prefer to run the elderly over with a very fast, flashy sports car.

Keep on hatin' though.

Jeff said...

Was I talking to you about how raisins should be substituted with chocolate chips in pretty much any scenario? I think cereal is pretty much the only time the raisin wins.